If you're lonely when you're alone, you're in bad company.
*Jean Paul-Sartre
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When I took a religious vow, in the mid-1990s, to live a Rule of Life, I realized it was a commitment to live as a monk in an unmonk-society. Indeed, "monk" is monos, meaning "alone." So, it seems a contradiction, or at least impossible, to live aloneness in a context that resists, even flees, aloneness. How, also, do I live as a monk, an alone one, when I work full-time as a Chaplain where I am in constant contact with inmates and other staff, and no one I know is committed to the life I am vowed to and few, if any, would be able to appreciate why it is central to my life and sense of Purpose?
Fortunately, as with hermits and monks in cloisters, being alone is not merely physical separation. Anyway, being physically alone does not mean one is spiritually in solitude; rather, solitude is a way of being and depth of existing among other persons and in relationship with Life. The monk-in-the-world does not do this just for himself or herself; rather, inner solitude is a public witness to the Call and need for intimacy between the Holy and persons, including the Holy that we live within and that is within us each: that of "G-D" in you.
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To temper the life of a monastery and fit it into my home, life, work, and relationships is enriching, even when it befuddles those who know me. However, honestly, I befuddle myself quite often, as those who know me best do know. I find it unappealing and boring to live a life free of oddity and befuddlement, anyway.
However, to be different is painful at times. How does the man or woman who follows a contemplative path, who sees the world as a monastery, fit in with other persons? How does a person with contemplative priorities and values survive and, more, thrive in the institutional aspects of religion? Of society? Whom can he or she converse with who has insight and empathy regarding the joys and sorrows of his or her Calling?
What is the path of a monk-in-the-world, who wants to integrate "secular" and "religious" life in the Centrum, the Holy of Holies of the Heart? Thomas Moore, in Meditations, notes traits of a monk life. Among the traits is an intense sensitivity to interior thoughts and feelings. The aspirate, likewise, is openly sensitive to the presence of others. Moore reminds us that in modern life it may seem that real work is located in the "heroics of surviving and succeeding in the world." However, the monk accepts the challenge of "nonheroic intimacy with oneself, others, and the world." A monk chooses intimacy over heroics; such is the path of Humility exemplified in the passion of The Christ. Basically, then, persons are more important than things and the aspirate refuses to live among others with his or her own heart closed up. Even his or her Inner Solitude is only a closing to be and become increasingly open to Life, to Creation.
In some sense we each live and die alone ~ those most in Love know this
